


One of those days

by ToxicPineapple



Series: the v3 kiddos are good friends [3]
Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Angst, Crying, Denial, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friends bein pals, Gen, Group Hugs, Healthy Relationships, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Kaede is going through it, Kinda heavy tbh, No one in this world deserves Gonta, Platonic Relationships, Some characters are only mentioned but I felt bad not putting them in the tags, anyway, breakdowns, friendships, implied depression, self deprecation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-24 18:03:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21103694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToxicPineapple/pseuds/ToxicPineapple
Summary: Gonta sounds so worried and Kaede feels her lips trembling as she opens them to dismiss his concerns but no sound comes out of her mouth. Her eyes are shut tight against her sleeve now, and she’s scowing into her arm so that she won’t cry because she knows that he’ll hug her if she starts crying and she doesn’t think she could take it if he did. Gonta doesn’t say anything else, he just stands there, and when Kaede composes herself again she sees that he’s frowning at her, but not at her, and he looks like he’s not sure what to say. She doesn’t think he’d believe it if she smiled right now.---Kaede has one of the bad days.





	One of those days

It isn’t really Kokichi’s fault.

Kaede doesn’t really realise, when she wakes up, that it’s going to be one of those days. One of those days where her smiles take a little bit longer to pull up than usual, where all the right things to say disappear from her mind and she’s left staring blankly at whoever she’s talking to, that tired and slow smile still glued to her face. She sleeps in past her alarm but she doesn’t really think it’s a big deal. Her body feels heavy and sluggish, like she’s moving through glue, or molasses, but she figures that she just didn’t get as much sleep last night as she thought she did.

It isn’t until she’s actually in the dining hall, thinking about what to eat for breakfast, that it occurs to her that today is going to be a bad day. Even if she finds the energy to laugh really loud at Kaito giving himself a mustache made of strawberry yogurt, and even if Rantaro’s actually here today, and even if Maki smiled when she sat down before quickly looking away, Kaede knows that she’s going to collapse into her bed tonight in tears for no reason in particular. Her surroundings all look fuzzy, like she’s looking at them from under water, or like she’s dreaming. She knows she’s not though, because this feeling is familiar, and when she bumps into a table getting up to get herself an apple or something, the pain of the corner digging into her hip is sharp and present.

She slowly sinks back down into her seat. She doesn’t have much of an appetite right now, but she’ll eat a good amount at lunch so that people don’t worry.

A glass of orange juice slides in front of her, and Kaede looks up, meets Shuichi’s grey eyes, and thinks,  _ why didn’t I notice he’s at breakfast for once?  _ Shuichi seems brighter than normal, and he’s smiling at her. He must’ve gotten a good night of sleep to be so happy today. Seeing him like that would usually make her smile too, but right now her lips feel sticky and delayed and when the smile does appear on her face, she knows that it’s not her usual smile, and based on the way that Shuichi’s expression twitches with concern, she knows that he can tell.

“Did you sleep alright?” He asks softly, and Kaede shakes her head quickly. She’s pretty sure that’s not true; she was in bed by nine and she slept  _ past  _ her alarm which means she actually got more sleep than usual, if anything. But it’s an excuse, and one that Shuichi will probably empathise with, so she takes it. For some reason being honest right now feels unbearable. “Ah. I’m sorry,” he hums, and then his brow furrows. “If you’re really tired, I’m sure Chisa won’t mind if you go get some rest.”

“No,” Kaede shakes her head again, because she doesn’t want anyone to know something’s wrong. “I’ll be okay.” She smiles again, and this time presses the corners of her lips up so high that it almost hurts, and it must be convincing because Shuichi smiles too (far more genuinely than her) before turning back to his breakfast. He doesn’t eat a lot in the mornings, but he has a bowl of cereal and a cup of coffee. He probably got the orange juice for her specifically, because she knows he doesn’t really like sweet things, and he especially doesn’t like pulp. It was very kind of him, and Kaede half wants to cry because of it.

The first time something like this happened was back in middle school. There’s never been a cause for these days, they just sort of show up without any provocation, and all she can really do is deal with it. Nobody knows about them (except her sister, and even her sister doesn’t really understand them) but it wasn’t a huge deal in middle school because she didn’t really have any close friends. (Everyone just thought she was kind of weird, so they didn’t tend to spend any time around her. Kaede didn’t mind usually so long as she got time to play the piano.) She thought that they’d stop once she got to Hope’s Peak, but they haven’t.

It’s happened a couple times since she started attending this school, and she’s been able to deal with it because it’s been on days without class, where she could just go to her music lab and turn on a record and fall asleep on the floor amidst a mess of sheet music. People don’t usually go in there when she’s playing because they respect her alone-time. Kaito and Kirumi are the exceptions; Kaito to get on her back about sleeping on the floor and Kirumi to bring in pillows and a blanket so she’ll be more comfortable. She appreciates them a lot, though it’s always been difficult to keep from crying whenever they do that because she always cries a lot on these days.

She hasn’t had one in a couple months, though. Kaede honestly thought she’d moved past them. (She ponders this while walking to class, Shuichi on one side of her and Maki on the other.) For the past few months she’s woken up every day with a smile on her face. Sometimes even before her alarm. It’s easy to smile and laugh now, especially because she has so many close friends who she loves so dearly. She’s pretty sure she was even in high spirits last night, excited for today. There was probably something for her to be excited about today last night. But for the life of her, she can’t remember what it is.

Kaede feels like she sleeps through the entire day, even though she knows on some level that she was awake. It just seems like she sits down in class, pulling out her notebook, and when she blinks, her eyes open again to see that she’s sitting in the dining hall instead, and Kirumi made a more western-style lunch today, and she’s eating something that she can’t really taste, nodding her head to some dramatic tale that Kaito has launched off on about an adventure he went on once. When Shuichi turns his head, laughing, and meets her eyes, Kaede nearly starts crying, but swallows the urge, along with her mouthful of grilled cheese, trying to ground herself enough to at least keep up a pretense of being normal.

When she smiles at him, it feels more like a wince, and Shuichi definitely thinks so but his attention is grabbed by Kiibo, who wants him to weigh in on an argument that he’s having with Kokichi, so Kaede turns her gaze back to her plate and realises that it’s suddenly empty. She can feel her stomach churning, and her fingers are a bit greasy from the sandwich, and suddenly her head is swimming with nausea and she remembers that she didn’t have time to shower this morning because she slept past her alarm and now she really wishes she could because she feels unreal, not human, and a bit gross.

She swallows down the feeling, as well as the burn in her eyes, and when lunch ends, stumbles to the second half of classes. Kaede rests her head against the desk when she arrives, suddenly exhausted, and closes her eyes, feeling her heart pound hard against her ribs. She hasn’t really  _ done  _ anything that should be making her feel this way, but suddenly she feels dizzy. She doesn’t feel real, like everything around her is faked and she’s just wandering through it. When she closes her eyes she feels a burning in the corners so she pulls up her arms around her face, pressing her nose into the crook of her elbow and screwing her eyes shut even harder. If she starts crying, and she’s trying not to, she doesn’t want anybody to see it.

When she lifts her head again, a large brown jacket slips off of her shoulders, and it occurs to Kaede that the classroom is empty. Well, nearly empty, save for-

“Is Akamatsu alright?” Gonta’s low voice drags her out of her thoughts and she looks up, meeting his red eyes through the rims of his glasses. He’s frowning, his brow furrowed in concern, and Kaede looks around, surprised that everyone’s gone. Is class already over? She couldn’t have been out for that long, she doesn’t even remember falling asleep.

“I’m fine,” Kaede replies hoarsely, and wonders at the numb feeling in her chest. Usually sleeping chases the bad feelings away but right now she feels just as upset as before. If anything Gonta’s gentle gaze feels heavy and she worries that she might start crying right in front of him. “Is class over, Gonta?”

“Oh, yes, but no worries!” Gonta smiles at her, and Kaede makes her lips bend in the same expression, but it feels like plastic. “Gonta took twice as many notes so Akamatsu wouldn’t miss anything.” And at that, a lump rises in her throat, and Kaede feels her eyes sting much worse than before. She wipes at them with her sleeve, trying to get her heart to stop trying to break through her chest. “U-Uhm, Akamatsu?”

Gonta sounds so  _ worried _ and Kaede feels her lips trembling as she opens them to dismiss his concerns but no sound comes out of her mouth. Her eyes are shut tight against her sleeve now, and she’s scowing into her arm so that she won’t cry because she knows that he’ll hug her if she starts crying and she doesn’t think she could take it if he did. Gonta doesn’t say anything else, he just stands there, and when Kaede composes herself again she sees that he’s frowning at her, but not  _ at  _ her, and he looks like he’s not sure what to say. She doesn’t think he’d believe it if she smiled right now.

“Is there…” Gonta pauses. “Anything Gonta can do to help?”

And Kaede wishes that she could do something other than shaking her head, because the look that crosses over Gonta’s face when she does makes her want to tear her own heart out of her chest. But there isn’t, at least, nothing that she wants him to do. Nothing that she would feel good about. Because if she asked him for something, anything, really, it would just feel bad, and then after he stopped doing it, it would feel even worse. Thinking about it, about receiving some kind of help and then having it stop inevitably because Gonta can’t be expected to fix her problems… makes her want to cry. So she forces the thoughts away, because she almost started crying just now, and that was terrible enough, it really was.

She doesn’t say anything else, even though she kind of wants to, as she packs up her things, and then offers his jacket back. He holds out a hand, as though to stop her, and awkwardly, Kaede holds it for a moment before realising he means to tell her she can wear it for a while. And though she doesn’t want to impose (and actually the thought of wearing his jacket feels comforting which will certainly mean more tears tonight when she’s finally alone and not bothering anybody) she just slowly drapes it back around her shoulders. Gonta grabs her bag without asking if she needs him to carry it, and holds the door open for her on the way out, and the pressure beneath her eyes feels too much.

As they walk down the hall, Kaede drifts in and out of awareness, but it occurs to her eventually that he’s walking her back to room. Her feet stop moving then, because she knows if she goes to her room right now she won’t get out of it, and Gonta throws her a questioning look, and she blurts, “I want to go to my lab.”

So then he nods, and smiles at her (of all things) before gently placing a hand on her upper back as they walk across the courtyard. Kaede tries to think about something else other than the block that lodges itself in her chest but she can’t, and she hates it, but she presses her lips together and tries not to think about the fact that she hates it, too, because thinking about that just makes her want to cry and she can’t cry, not in front of Gonta, not in front of anybody.

When they get into her lab, Gonta stands by the door, and Kaede realises he’s probably waiting for her to sit down at the piano so he can leave. She thinks that that’s fair, so she walks over to it and takes a seat on the bench, turning to look back at him so she can thank him.

Only he doesn’t go anywhere, he just steps into the lab, and then looks at her like he’s asking if it’s okay. And it’s not, not really, but only because nothing is okay right now, and not for any reasons, so she tries to make herself smile at him, and he moves closer and takes a seat at one of the other benches in the room. Kaede directs her attention towards the piano, stretching her fingers out and resting them on top of the keys, but even though part of her wants to play, wants to turn off her brain for a while and just focus on making music, her hands feel dead. Weak. She can’t make them move, for some reason, can’t muster the energy to press down and start actually playing the instrument. There aren’t any songs coming to mind, and her hands just won’t move, and-

Wiping her face, Kaede stands up abruptly, and asks, “Do you want to listen to a song, Gonta?”

He nods at her, smiling, so she walks jerkily over to one of the shelves in her lab, selecting a record at random and moving to the record player. Her hands shake when she puts it in but she doesn’t focus on that. When the record begins to turn, she recognises Beethoven’s  _ Moonlight Sonata  _ immediately and also recognises that it’s not the kind of song one should listen to when they’re feeling sad in the first place, but she’s already here, and she doesn’t feel particularly inclined to turn it off.

Gonta ends up staying with her all the way until dinner. He doesn’t say anything, nor does he even look at her that much- he mostly just sits there, gazing out the window at the clouds that have begun to turn pinks and purples with the sunset. Sometimes he smiles, but his expression is calm for the most part. Kaede doesn’t know what to say, really, but by the time that he’s standing and saying they should head to the dining hall, she feels a bit more human than before. He rests his hand on her back again when he walks her to the dining hall, and she can hear him humming Beethoven’s fifth under his breath, and she thinks that he has a very nice voice. He’d probably be a pretty good singer.

“Gonta,” she speaks up, suddenly feeling possessed with the urge to as he holds open the door to the dining hall. He looks at her, his eyebrows raised, and she clears her throat, averting her gaze. “Thank you. I- uhm- I’m feeling better.” And when she smiles, it comes on more naturally, so she decides that it must be true. Gonta returns the expression, a very happy look on his face.

“It is Gonta’s pleasure!” He assures her happily, and Kaede can’t help laughing a bit as she moves into the dining hall. Everyone is pretty busy, getting food and finding places, but her eyes find Shuichi’s almost immediately, and he seems to light up when he sees her, brushing a piece of hair from his face and smiling. Kaito, who is standing next to him, follows his gaze, and grins also.

“Akamatsu, there you are!” The astronaut calls out, and so Kaede makes her way over there. She glances over her shoulder before she reaches them, and sees that Gonta has moved over to serve himself, and for some reason that makes her want to frown, but she doesn’t, because he’s hungry and anyway he’s already done plenty to make her feel better. And she  _ is  _ feeling better now. That spell just took a bit longer to end is all. When she looks back at Kaito and Shuichi, she smiles at them, and Kaito smiles wider. “Are you feeling okay? You seemed a bit down in the dumps earlier.”

“Oh, yeah, I’m fine!” Kaede dismisses, pleased to hear how natural her voice sounds now. “I just didn’t get a lot of sleep last night. I’m feeling much better now.”

“I should hope so.” Maki, who appears to have just come over (accompanied by Rantaro, who, when he’s standing next to the child caregiver, makes Kaede think of Christmas) quirks a brow, but otherwise her expression remains how it usually does. “You slept for like three hours after lunch.”

“Ahaha, really?” Her laugh takes a bit of effort to force out but when she finally does, it comes more easily after a moment. She doesn’t feel stung by that comment, not at all, especially because it’s true. Sleeping in class was pretty irresponsible of her, actually. No wonder Maki noticed. “I’ll have to apologise to Chisa tomorrow, then.”

“I think she was mostly just worried about you,” Rantaro remarks. And his undertone, as well as the frown he’s wearing, says,  _ as were we,  _ but Kaede doesn’t feel upset by that (by worrying her friends) because she’s feeling  _ better  _ and so she doesn’t want to cry at all. The laugh that comes out of her mouth after that isn’t strangled in the silence and she doesn’t notice the worried look Shuichi gives her, standing quietly between Kaito and Maki.

“Let’s go find a table!” Kaito pretty much announces that to the whole room before looking at Kaede for a moment. “Uh, you should go get some food, though, first, Akamatsu.”

“Right, yeah,” Kaede nods, and she doesn’t feel overwhelmed by how many people there are over there, or how loud it is in the dining hall, not in the slightest.

“I haven’t gotten anything yet, so I’ll go with you.” Shuichi says quietly. “Uhm, if that’s alright, of course.”

“Yeah! Why wouldn’t it be?” Kaede beams, and it’s definitely a smile and not anything else. The long, wary look that Shuichi sends her way doesn’t mean anything. He’s probably stressing about something else. He does that a lot, after all.

They split off from the group, over to where food has been set up near the kitchen, and Kaede sees the neat slices of sashimi and silently sends thanks to Kirumi for the beautiful food she always puts out. She carefully grabs a plate and a pair of wooden chopsticks before serving herself what she considers a fair amount of sashimi, as well as grabbing a bowl of miso, and waits for Shuichi to finish choosing takoyaki before starting over to the table that Kaito, Maki, and Rantaro appear to have chosen.

Before they get there, though, Kokichi darts in front of them, smiling, and Kaede doesn’t feel her heart drop into her stomach, doesn’t think about the fact that Kokichi usually says mean things, because she can handle them, and she’s feeling better, so it won’t even affect her.

“Akamatsu, you’re here! I thought you died or something!” Kokichi chirps, beaming, and Kaede finds it in herself to smile back, but skeptically, because that’s normal, right? Being skeptical when Kokichi says things? It feels safer than dropping her plate and crying, which isn’t what she wants to do at all anyway. “Where did you disappear to between now and the end of class, huh? Did you go and cry in a closet or something?”   
  
Before Kaede can even  _ think  _ of a response to that, Shuichi remarks, “If you were curious, couldn’t you have checked your student handbook, Ouma?” And he frowns, as though he’s seeing right through Kokichi’s behaviour, though Kaede’s barely even processed Kokichi’s remark about her crying in a closet, much less is she in the position to think about what Shuichi is saying. The detective looks annoyed, if not outright angry, and Kaede wonders about that, in the part of her head that’s not reeling still from Kokichi.

“Awh! You’re so disrespectful, Saihara, I just wanted to respect her privacy, so I didn’t-”

“That’s a lie, right.” He says it far too flatly for it to be a question. “You’re just trying to goad Akamatsu.”

“Oops! You caught me. Nishishi.” Kokichi shrugs, like he doesn’t really care, and Kaede is willing to be that that’s the truth. “Anyway, what are you so upset about? Are you mad about my organisation killing your family? Because, y’know, I told you not to take that personally.” His purple eyes shift over to look at her, and for some reason his gaze feels even heavier than iron blocks, and Kaede has to avert her own. “It’s just business and all, yeah? Had to be done.”

“Ouma, stop fucking around!” Kaito calls from the table. “They’re trying to come over here so they can eat, they don’t have to deal with your-”

“It’s fine, he’s just being Ouma,” Kaede interrupts, and for some reason when she lifts her lips into a smile it feels like folding stiff plastic. Difficult and fake. Impermanent. “I don’t really mind.”

“Hmm. Akamatsu is a bad liar.” Kokichi says softly. Which is odd, because Kaede really isn’t lying. “Y’know, you’d probably feel better if you were honest about how you’re feeling right now.”

“Huh?” Kaede blinks at him. “I’m not lying, though. I guess I’m still a little tired from earlier, but that’s about it, really,” and then she laughs, to show that she’s okay (and doesn’t notice the heavy concern in Shuichi’s eyes, the doubtful frown on his face).

“Yeah, right.” Kokichi rolls his eyes. “Whatever you say. Yeesh, you’re so boring and predictable. This whole emotional constipation thing gets really tired after a while, y’know? It’s the same problem that so many of our classmates have. It feels like you’re just plagiarising at this point.” And Kaede doesn’t feel stung by that, doesn’t think that it’s kind of true, doesn’t feel a lump rising in her throat. “I’m out, I’m gonna go spend time with Kiiboy, at least he’s funny when he’s-”

Kaede isn’t crying, she’s  _ not. _

“Akamatsu?” That’s Shuichi’s voice, and he so sounds startled and worried that Kaede blurts out something that’s meant to be  _ I’m feeling better, I am,  _ but it feels more like an uneven burst of syllables and her bowl of miso soup clatters on the floor. She hadn’t even realised that she’d let go of it. The plate in her hands is pulled away too, but she doesn’t hear anything shattering, and it’s a plate so it would definitely shatter if she dropped it, so she thinks that somebody must’ve taken it before she reaches up to cover her face and her hand comes away wet with the big blubbery tears that are dripping down her cheeks against her will.

“I’m sorry,” she manages to say, though she’s not really sure who’s listening, and her chest squeezes and she thinks  _ I shouldn’t be crying, I’m just going to upset everyone,  _ but she can’t stop because she can never stop when she really starts going, so she tries to apologise again but all that comes out is a choked sob, and she presses her face into her hand, screwing her eyes shut and trying to compose herself.

When she looks up again, blinking tears out of her eyes, she sees Shuichi, standing there and looking at her like he doesn’t know what to do or say, and Kaito, who’s out of his seat, and Kirumi is there too, looking at her but holding her plate, which means she must’ve been the one who took it, and Kokichi is  _ staring  _ at her, but he seems to have taken a step back, and his expression is blank and clean except that his brow his furrowed and Kaede can tell that he’s feeling guilty and she doesn’t want that (she really doesn’t) so she tries to say something, tries to get words out of her throat, but nothing will come out.

Then, softly, Shuichi asks, “Can I hug you, Akamatsu?” And she knows that if he hugs her she’ll never stop crying but she can’t bring herself to say no so she just nods, and when he moves forward, taking her into his arms, she shudders, and feels everything start to collapse. His arms are warm, and he smells like cinnamon, but all Kaede can think is that he shouldn’t have to do this, he has problems of his own to deal with, and she’s just troubling everyone by worrying like this, and Gonta already spent hours earlier cheering her up and she should be feeling better, not crying like this, and this is all so irresponsible of her.

There’s no good reason for her to feel this way, either. Her life is perfectly fine. She’s a happy person with a happy life. Lots of good friends and a loving family and home and a hobby that makes her happy. Even if she does wake up feeling nothing but bad sometimes she should be keeping it to herself, not being a burden to other people, and-

She tries to find some way to make herself speak, and after hiccuping a couple of times, Kaede manages to say, “I’m sorry,” which feels like the only thing she  _ can  _ say anymore, which is pathetic, honestly.

“Don’t apologise,” Shuichi’s chest vibrates when he speaks, and she feels it against her forehead. She’s getting his jacket all wet, probably, and not even thinking about it.

“N-No,” she tries again, gratified when something other than an apology comes out. “I- I shouldn’t be- be crying in front of everyone like this, this is-”

“Akamatsu,” Maki’s voice comes in from nowhere, sounding cross. “You’ve looked like you wanted to cry all day. Just cry it out.”

“Yeah! Nothing wrong with a good cry sometimes!” Kaito’s voice adds.

“Is Bakamatsu okay?” A voice Kaede identifies as Miu’s speaks up, and she sounds a bit further away than the other two, but Kaede still hears her. “She was sleeping a fuck-ton in class, right? I mean, no wonder, that lecture was boring as balls, but-”

“Iruma, you’re being awfully insensitive,” chastises Tsumugi’s voice.   
  
“Eee! Don’t talk sternly like that, I was just asking…”

“Akamatsu,” Himiko murmurs, and she’s certainly closer than everyone else, perhaps right next to her. “Do you want me to use my magic and make everyone go away so you can cry in privacy? I know I don’t like crying when everyone’s around. It would be a pain but I don’t mind since it’s you.”

That statement alone brings on another round of tears, and when Kaede turns her face against Shuichi’s chest, meeting Himiko’s red-brown eyes, she sees the magician pouting with concern, her thumb pressed in between her lips. “No,” Kaede replies hoarsely. “You don’t have to do that, I’ll-” she sniffs, wiping her cheeks. “I-I’ll stop crying soon, it’s okay.”

“Akamatsu, Tenko means this very respectfully,” Tenko pokes her head from behind Kaede, her green eyes very intense. “But if you stop crying before you’re done, I’ll use my Neo-Aikido to make you finish crying! You need to feel your emotions!”

Looking away, Kaede mutters, “I’m just stressing you all out, though.” She glares at the floor. “You guys have problems of your own, you don’t need to deal with mine.”

“Ah, you deal with ours, though.” Shuichi points out, lifting one of his hands to brush some tears from her face. His touch is gentle, and his hand is soft, so Kaede leans into it, and he leaves it there. “Perhaps a little too much. You can let us do this for you, alright?”

And she looks at him for a long moment, trying not to cry some more, but her eyes start welling up against her will and when tears start escaping again he barely bats an eye tucking hair behind her ear and placing his hand on her shoulder, gesturing for them to move over to one of the tables. Her legs feel like jelly, but she manages to walk with him over to the bench, where he gently sits her down and then takes the spot next to her. Immediately, Tenko is sitting on her other side, saying something about how a degenerate shouldn’t be the only one comforting her (which Shuichi smiles at but doesn’t comment on) and despite the fact that Kaede is still wearing Gonta’s jacket from before Kaito tucks his around her shoulders too before reaching out and wiping away some of his tears with her hand, grinning and saying that all the best heroes cry all the time and she shouldn’t feel ashamed of herself for feeling bad.

Maki is in front of her then, kneeling, and she takes both of her hands, which is a gesture that feels uncharacteristic of her, but she holds them in both of her own and when she looks up into Kaede’s eyes her own red ones feel like they’re on fire. Her expression is firm but kind, and while she doesn’t say anything, Kaede can tell what she’s attempting to communicate. Himiko takes her spot on Tenko’s lap, as is typical of her, and from shifting on the table behind her, Kaede knows someone has just climbed up onto it- especially when a couple hands lift her hair, beginning to comb through the tangles and the knots and braid it. A cool ring brushing against her neck is all Kaede needs to know that it’s Rantaro behind her, and she wonders how he knows how to french braid, because she thinks that’s what he’s doing.

People settle in around her- Kaito and Tsumugi on either side of Maki, likely Korekiyo and Angie next to Rantaro on the table from the soft smell of incense and daisies, Ryoma next to Shuichi on the bench, Miu and Kiibo on Tenko’s other side, and then Gonta behind Maki, who smiles at her, and Kirumi slips out of the room, only to return a moment later with an armful of blankets and pillows, which, with some uncomfortable maneuvering, they manage to tuck around Kaede’s shoulders and underneath her too. Kirumi then sits dutifully next to Gonta, and Kokichi, who still has that pained look on his face, drops down to sit next to the entomologist, his gaze never straying from Kaede’s face.

She finds it in herself, finally, to smile, when Kokichi mouths an apology, and tucks her head into Shuichi’s shoulder, closing her eyes and finally just letting her tears fall, wrapped up in the warmth of all of her friends around her.

(A couple people start up conversations eventually, and Kaito tells Kaede a long and obviously-fake story about how he saved someone but ended up crying halfway through because he thought he’d fail, and then Rantaro tells her an obviously-real story about how he once fell and hurt his leg trying to get away from a gang in an area that he visited and started crying so hard that they didn’t have it in themselves to kill him, and Maki calls them both idiots and Himiko tells Kaede she needs her to help with a magic trick later and Tenko talks in very vague terms about this girl she knows who she is very fond of and is always there for her, and they never actually end up going back to any of their rooms. Instead they fall asleep there, under blankets and pillows that Kirumi brought or in the warmth of each other’s bodies, and Kaede thinks that maybe she should be more honest about these days going forward, because this at least isn’t so bad.)

**Author's Note:**

> mmm y'all don't really address Kaede's struggles in this fandom smh do I have to do everything myself
> 
> in other news.... wow Kaede what a girl writing this hurt but y'know I'd be lying if I said I didn't have like four or five Kaede angst fics (multi-chapter and otherwise) on the way ajfhajsdfh what can I say, I love her
> 
> uhhhhhh yeah this is another one of those where I'm like all the v3 characters get to comfort my character of choice now fuck you
> 
> Kokichi is trying his best okay he was trying to get her to be more honest with himself but he didn't exactly expect her to just start crying asfhdsf
> 
> anyway hope this was cathartic or smth feels weird saying OWO HOPE YOU ENJOYED but yeah bye


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